Sketch Idea #1

Affirmative Action hire for douche bags.

actual text

Me: Are you alright?

Her:Yea Y

Me: Because I heard you’ve been cracking open beers with those manly hands. hahaha just playing.


What makes you think you could pull off a marriage when you’ve seen so many fail?

90,159 Plays

You say you wanna stay by my side
Darlin’ your heads not right…

(Source: limitlessplaylist, via ezrasdevicepresident)

Night Shift

My night time is in the morning.

The Last Bowel Movement..

..came after Jesus’s Last Supper.


"Can you turn this up, please? Please? You won’t be sorry."